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Once upon a time, a very, very long time ago, A Neanderthal man dropped his flintstone.  He panicked but was pleased to see that the new fangled thing hadn’t chipped for that would have spoiled the clean edge of this new cutting technology.

Grunting in exasperation, he looked around the valley and spotted a big leaf from a kind of tree that is long gone from the earth. After a moment of thought, the man squatted beside the leaf and touched it gently. It was supple and strong and would bend without cracking. He sighed in satisfaction and dropped his few meager belongings on top of the leaf. Gathering the edges together he twisted the top and set off toward the dim glow in the sky that marked his home camp fire.

Possibly his name if written down -although no such system of representing the spoken word existed in his time, would sound something like Buh’irghn.  Indeed that might go some way to justify the total hysteria which seems to grip normally sane women today when in the presence of a Birkin bag but of course no-one really knows  who fashioned the first one and for sure it was  inspired by necessity and not by fashion.

What is certain is that that ancient long ago cave man started something that thousands of years later would cause many a woman to max out her credit card, cause bitter rivalries between best friends and carve deep seams of jealousy and avariciousness  in otherwise mentally healthy wives and mothers, WAGS and DINKs.

No doubt Buh’irghn, if that was indeed his name, would have thought the person who paid $64,800 for a black crocodile version of his invention in 2005 a rather pathetic and strange individual to have to pay so very much money just to carry a few pieces for bartering and some warpaint and wondered about the sanity of anyone willing to put their name on a two year waiting list for a Hermès bag when they could get one in five minutes on eBay. 

No. I’ve not lost my marbles. I’m suggesting you think ahead. It’s all very well shopping up a storm but those shops and malls just wring every last cent out of you during the silly season. Round about now they dump all their silver candles and bells, fancy paper and ribbons in the sales bins to make way for all the Valentine’s Day fol-de-rol. Don’t be surprised to find lovely fat silver or gold candles that would have sold for $10 each before Christmas at 80% discount.

I always knew I was years before my time and just to prove it, everyone is UK is currently wearing a particular garment type that I grew out of in 5th grade.  Yes , believe it or not the shapeless and cringingly nerdy duffel coat has had something of a resurrection.

If you ever had one of these shapeless, itchy, suffocatingly heavy, woolen sacks then you will sypathize with my horror that they are back with a vengeance. Now achingly trendy, the duffel coat has been seen wrapped round the likes of Agyness Deyn and Britney Spears and it looks like Britain’s love affair with WAG Cheryl Cole has not been blunted by her being snapped in the bubblegum pink Mulberry duffle coat. I have to admit that as that girl could make a hessian bag look good I even experienced a faint twinge of duffle envy myself.

Only faint mind you and certainly not enough to justify splashing out on an expensive designer duffel coat. Seeing as how everyone from Stella Macartney to Ralph Lauren are  on the duffle bandwagon I was inspired to go and see what  goodies were available on eBay for anyone who wanted to get duffled.

Those crazy kids at Body Candy wanted me to tell you that you can get 10% OFF on all their body bling including belly rings, nipple studs and all kinds of pins, studs, and baubles for your pierced bits. No minimum purchase is required just enter the coupon code CJ10 at check-out.

There’s also free worldwide shipping for purchases of over $19.99 and so with Valentine’s Day just around the corner well, I say it would be rude not to surprise your loved one with a bit of bling.

Like this one… hint, hint, honey. <3, <3

Solid 14KT Yellow Gold Cubic Zirconia
Paved HEART Adjustable Length Ankle Bracelet

According to the WSJ, retailers are in a panic in case we all got so spoiled by the super deep discounts over Christmas that we won’t pay full price for anything. Apparently some are already discounting the new Spring merchandise and two for one type deals are ten-a-penny.

Many of these bargains are to be had in the clothing market with the boutiques hoping to spark a rush fire by getting at least a few of the new styles off their shelves while folks are making the most of the Winter Clearance sales.

Well, personally my heart is bleeding, isn’t yours? The poor retailers are going to have to deal with quite a bit shaved off their profit margin and heaven only knows what will happen to the director’s bonuses.

I am certainly no economist but I do wonder if they can afford to sell that stuff at such severely reduced margins now … why were we all paying through the nose six months ago?

Okay, okay. I know you might think I am more likely to drool over a pair of killer heels than a fancy piece of hardware, but you would be sooo wrong. I love hardware wherever I may find it, darling.

And as far as that goes hardware does not come any more sleek and sexy (or super thin) than the gorgeous Lenovo IdeaCentre 600. Besides, Going Shoppish is not at all about fashion. It is about getting glorious things at a great price. Among the many other wondrous things it does this computer comes with Veriface built in. That means the computer will recognize your face. No doubt the next generation of the IdeaCentre 600 will have the capacity to tell a funny story and locate your g-spot. Let’s just hope it is also programmed to phone you in the morning.

At the $1000 mark, the IdeaCentre is as affordable as it is stylish but does its working guts live up to all the care that has been lavished on its exterior?

Well, when I buy a computer all I need to know is that it won’t faint if I have growing hordes of tabs open and that I can trust it not to cry if I swear at it from time to time. So, for a more expert review on the functionality of this work of art, I must hand you over to the good folks at Gizmodo.

Yeah, right! Tell it to the lawyers. As posted in his celeblog, Perez Hilton suspects someone will be getting the boot from the design team of the Twilight perfume launch. Something to do with a canny likeness to the packaging and design of the bottle for Nina, by Nina Ricci.

Something certainly smells fishy.

If Leo DiCaprio thinks his new Tesla Roadster, the world’s first high-performance 100% electric car, is cooler than a polar bear’s balls, then so do I. He recently swapped his Toyota Prius hybrid with which he was already flying his eco-friendly colors in for his new sports car, saying of it in an interview with the UK’s Daily Mail:

‘It’s my first sports car and it’s an unbelievable drive. It’s scarily fast and it all happens with the flip of a switch, unlike a piston-driven engine that needs to build up momentum.’

Apart from getting from 0 to 60 mph in under 4 seconds, the Tesla Roadster also promises to burn no oil and cost mere pennies per mile. An economy that you are sure to appreciate after lashing out $120,000 to get your hands on one.

I have never made any secret about my feelings about using fur and have recently added my signature to the Animal Saviours petition to put a stop to live animal skinning in China. Yes, you heard that right: live animal skinning. Please don’t put yourself through the pain of watching the horrific video on that site as the images inside will burn themselves onto the back of your eyelids and stay with your forever but do take a moment to speak out against this barbaric custom by adding your name to the petition.

In other news from the anti-fur movement a new international eco-friendly fashion design competition was launched on 10th December by Born Free USA, Animal Protection Institute (Born Free USA) and environmental publication, E Magazine. Called fffashion, the competition’s goal is to promote the ethical and environmental benefits of foregoing fur fashions while creating an opportunity for independent designers to showcase their talent for a worthy cause.

consumers for a fur free society

Being fur-free is both socially and environmentally responsible. Not only is the use of fur unconscionable in this progressive day and age, it is damaging to our wildlife, our ecosystems and people who work in fur processing factories

In short, it’s impossible to design with fur, sell fur, or wear fur, and claim one is anything close to being ‘green’.

This is a great opportunity for independent designers to showcase their talents and help raise awareness of a very noteworthy cause

In recent years more and more markets have begun embracing ideologies that support ethical consumerism

Because shopping with concern for the environment, people, and animals is a core value for many consumers, taking a stand against fur fashion is a no-brainer.

Winners will be will be chosen by a celebrity panel of judges including eco-model and Discovery Channel “Planet Green” host, Summer Rayne Oakes; lifestyle icon Sophie Uliano, author of New York Times bestselling book Gorgeously Green, and E Magazine editor Brita Belli.

“Being fur-free is both socially and environmentally responsible. Not only is the use of fur unconscionable in this progressive day and age, it is damaging to our wildlife, our ecosystems and people who work in fur processing factories,” says fffashion judge Sophie Uliano. “In short, it’s impossible to design with fur, sell fur, or wear fur, and claim one is anything close to being ‘green’.”

Independent designers are invited to enter their fur-free fashion designs for cash prizes and the chance to be featured in a full-page ad in the September/October issue of E Magazine. Additional support for fffashion comes from UsTrendy, an innovative fashion company which aims to modernize the fashion process, which will help spread the word about the contest to independent designers. “This is a great opportunity for independent designers to showcase their talents and help raise awareness of a very noteworthy cause,” says USTrendy founder, Sam Sisakhti.

Complete contest details can be viewed at www.bornfreeusa.org/fffashion

“In recent years more and more markets have begun embracing ideologies that support ethical consumerism,” says Monica Engebretson, senior program associate for Born Free USA. “Because shopping with concern for the environment, people, and animals is a core value for many consumers, taking a stand against fur fashion is a no-brainer.”

The fffashion competition is a program of Born Free USA’s Consumers for a Fur Free Society (CFFS) program. CFFS represents an international effort to provide consumers with accurate information about retailers and fur, allowing consumers to make an informed choice when shopping. CFFS has widespread international success, with partners including H&M, American Apparel and Pier 1 in the U.S. and Marks and Spencer, Topshop, and the Co-operative Group in Europe.

CFFS is part of the international Fur Free Retailer program, supported and endorsed by the Fur Free Alliance, an international coalition of 35 leading animal and environmental protection organizations representing millions of supporters worldwide.

Born Free USA is a national leader in wildlife conservation and advocacy, working to end animal cruelty and exploitation through legislation, litigation and public education. For more information on Born Free USA and its programs, visit www.bornfreeusa.org

With a reasonable starting price of $48 Levi’s new Ultimate Lift jean for women which promise to make women look ‘amazing’, sound nothing short of a minor miracle. They are designed to lift the wearer’s behind into the cup shape in the seat panel which hopefully will result in the perfect peach for those of us who are becoming more of the imperfect pear.

The new Levi’s(R) Ultimate Lift 544(TM) jeans will be available in straight leg, boot cut and flares. Just pop a pair on my Christmas wish list, would you darling.